BREAKING NEWS: TRUE NORTH SELLS JETS BACK TO ATLANTA

| April 1, 2012 | 0 Comments

They're Baaaaaaack!

Earlier today it was reported that True North Sports & Entertainment has completed a deal to sell the Winnipeg Jets back to Atlanta for the 2012-2013 season pending NHL approval.

Mysterious rich guy “The Balkan” will reportedly pay $300 million for the team that he will call the Thrashers.

“We just wanted to bring the team back to its true fans” says John Kincade, the man who introduced us all to the Balkan and his shoes. Kincade went on to add “Atlanta is the 5th largest TV market in the US and that will translate to a successful franchise. Everyone knows that the size of the market dictates how well a team does financially.”

To get the ball rolling the Thrashers have announced their season ticket push DRIVE TO 500. The club hopes too sell 500 season tickets in 2 years.

“We know its a lofty goal but we just think that Atlanta’s hockey crazed population will snatch up as many tickets as possible. Sure it didn’t work the first two time but 3rd ones the charm! Yee haw!” says Big Bubba McBob the new GM of the Thrashers.

Gary Bettman who helped broker the deal went on to say. “While we regret leaving Winnipeg we now realize that we made a giant mistake by moving away from such a strong hockey market.”

Citing such Facebook pages as “Keep the Thrashers” and “We want the Thrashers Back” Bettman said that there just was too many¬†passionate¬†fans to deny them their team back. “If you add up all people who like all of the return the Thrashers pages then you’d have close to 5000 likes. Thats a lot on Facebook. I myself only have 17 friends. Please add me?”

Mark Chipman CEO of True North had the task of letting the fans in Winnipeg know that he was selling the team.

“While it might be hard to understand I think we are doing the right thing. Canada already has enough hockey teams and its not fair that Atlanta only has the NFL, NBA, MLB and NASCAR to keep them entertained. How will they be considered a world class sports city if they don’t have all the major sports there? The truth is Atlanta needs this more.”

The players have mixed feeling about the move.

Forward Jim Slater said “It was nice to play infront of full crowds but to be honest it will be good to get back to the peace and quite of Phillips Arena. There’s no pressure there. I could walk up and down the streets all day and no one would recognize me.”

Defenseman Mark Stuart added “They should have never lost their team to begin with, both times. I mean they had almost 200 people at their Save the Thrasher’s rally. You just don’t find that kind of support everywhere.”

Local residents were thrilled.

“This is a big day for Atlanta, we now have the four major sports again. I probably won’t go to any games but its just good to know that they are there” said Sally Kirkland.

The NHL has said that the team will play in the Northwest Division since that made as much sense as the Jets playing in the Southeast.

More on this story as its still developing.

 

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

 

GO JETS GO!

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